One thing you can’t depend on actors for is consistency.
One moment, they’re the swashbuckling hero – swashing and buckling their way across a medieval landscape.
The next, they’re a killer cyborg with an inexplicable fondness for brownies.
Certain actors, however, have a familiar je ne sais quoi that carries them across all their roles, ensuring that no matter what they do, you still love them.
But remember what we said about actors and inconsistency?
Here are the most awful films your fave celebs have ever acted in.
1. Tom Hanks “Ladykillers”
Until Ladykillers, Tom Hanks had literally never done a bad movie. Think about it. This is the guy who got us the perennial favorite Forest Gump, and then there was that whole movie he did with him and a volleyball named Wilson (Cast Away).
Then came Ladykillers, an ill-conceived romp about a group of bandits who rent a house from a little old lady in order to rob the casino around the corner.
No, Tom Hanks, nooo…..
2. Jake Gyllenhaal, “Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time”
Up until this dreadfully miscast train wreck, Jake Gyllenhaal had done a number of solid movies. Who can forget his intense turn in the eponymously titled Donnie Darko, or his roles in Jarhead, and Brokeback Mountain?
Then came The Prince of Persia, which raised a ton of questions, the first and most important being “why?”
Jake Gyllenhaal? As the Prince of freaking Persia? In that greasy wig?
3. Kate Winslet “Wonder Wheel”
Did you see Wonder Wheel? Do you know what it’s about?
4. Jennifer Lawrence “Passengers”
Since the moment she came flying out the gate with Winter’s Bone, Jennifer Lawrence has been this generation’s it actress. Too bad her efforts have been a bit up and down.
Case in point, Passengers, a star vehicle that was supposed to showcase her opposite newly-crowned action hero Chris Pratt.
The film was a solid meh.
5. Matt Damon “Suburbicon”
A show of hands if you’ve ever even heard of Suburbicon, a film that went quietly into the night pretty much instantly upon it’s release in 2017.
That’s right, it came out last year…
6. Natalie Portman “Your Highness”
Ever since she emerged with her stunning turn in The Professional, Natalie Portman has commanded the screen with her presence and poise. The word queen always comes to mind when we think of her.
To wit, Natalie Portman is timeless.
So why, in the name of all that’s holy, did she act in the dreadfully conceived and poorly executed medieval stoner comedy Your Highness, which, among other things, features a minotaur with a sizable and uncensored lower half, the sight of which we can literally never unsee.
7. Sandra Bullock “The Blind Side”
Sandra Bullock is an exceptional actress. At turns powerful or silly, here’s a woman who can flip from comedy to drama in seconds.
We do wish, however, that she would’ve stayed well away from the hot mess that was The Blind Side, which had not only poor, hammy acting, but also a very poorly conceived savior narrative.
8. Armie Hammer “The Lone Ranger”
We just have one question – “why?”
What studio exec was sitting his office one day and thought “hmm… I know this generation doesn’t even know what The Lone Ranger is, but we’ll stick a couple of bankable stars in it and make some bank.”
Also, Johnny Depp as Tonto? Freaking Tonto?
All right, guy.
9. Johnny Depp “Mortdecai”
Speaking of Johnny Depp, the actor has had a number of fine roles over the year, almost single-handedly making weird an aesthetic to aspire to (not that we’re complaining), but his latest efforts have been uneven to say the least.
Case in point, Mortdecai, a story about a guy named Mortdecai who– Honestly, we don’t even remember. Ten minutes into the movie, we were fast asleep.
10. Mila Kunis “Jupiter Ascending”
When we heard the Wachowski sisters, the same women who had done The Matrix were making a fantastical sci-fi epic complete with spaceships and beautiful costuming, we were in.
Then came this dreck featuring Mila Kunis as the queen of a universe where people literally drain other people for immortality and winged humans fly around on superpowered skates.
Yeah, okay, buddy.
11. Eddie Redmayne “Jupiter Ascending”
One of the finest actors of our generation, and he spends the entire movie moping and or screaming. Literally no halfway between the two.
On the other hand, his costumes were amazing, so “yay?” Also – spoiler – Sean Bean does not die in this movie, but, on the other hand, Sean Bean is in this movie. So is Channing Tatum.
Is there any actor Jupiter Ascending won’t tarnish?
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